When it comes to finding a place in the world I think my father put me on the path I'm on more than any other person I have ever met. Ours was a strange relationship in so many ways.
I can say without a doubt that he spent more time with me than anyone in his life, and spent hours and hours teaching me everything he knew, and I spent hours and hours trying to prove myself to him. However I always felt like I fell short of his expectations in part because he rarely if ever paid anyone a compliment myself included.
My dreams were foolish and a waste of time in his opinion and he saw little value in my talents or abilities and constantly pushed me towards what he felt was a better way to survive in this world, and yet he relied on my talents and abilities constantly to help him survive when he saw they could make him money.
I made many sacrifices to keep a roof over his head with each one pushing me further and further from my dreams until he died. In the process I learned how to do a great many things above and beyond anything I ever dreamed off and have a wealth of talents and skills beyond what I ever could have learned without his guidance.
I chose family over dreams no matter how painful the choice was time and time again. I was hurt and I was loved, and learned that that is what living life is all about.
Today's song is called "I Remember You" It is about that relationship, sometimes dark, sometimes on edge, and sometimes a comfortable soothing flow of memories