The gig at the Mezzo Mezzo went so so. After boarding the train to Chiaso, we got off and walked to the border. The border patrol told us to go back to the train station. The bus picked us up at the station 10 minutes later but didn't get to Melpensa until 9:50. It was a little slow going through security. 3 hours to kill. I checked my bag and went through security where they questioned me about the Swiss Army knife in my bag. Oops, I forgot all about the Swiss Army knife I got in Lucerne in the Swiss navy store. Back through security and the check-in person said she would send the bag back to lost baggage where I could put the knife and bring it upstairs to check in again. When I went downstairs, I was apprehended by Italian police who took my ticket and my bag and made me stand off to the side while they negotiated with the powers that be by phone. They didn't speak English. I tried someone coming through the gate, and she translated for me elegantly on my behalf. They shooed her away. They brought down 2 more police - now 4. One of them just shook his head, saying "no". 2 more police - now 4. One of them just shook his head, saying "no". 2 hours later they took me back to get the bag. I rechecked the bag and went back through security and was on a jet to the Father Land. "Swing low sweet chariot, come down easy. Get me to the terminal zone. Cut your engines and pull your wings and let me make it to the telephone" - a little Chuck Berry just overcame me. It was then that we decided to hitch a ride home on Big Green Cherry's private jet, The Rusty Zipper. Happy to be back in the USA as they say, there's no place like home, there's no place like home...